Dangling modifiers and smart alecks

My tape dispensers and scissors have come up missing over the past couple of days. After a glance around the place, I decided that they had been accidentally absconded. I sent an e-mail this morning:

I am missing a black tape dispenser, a red tape dispenser, and more than one pair of blue-handled scissors. If anyone has inadvertantly relocated these items (they should be marked), please return them to the library ASAP. Thanks.

Later, I received this reply from our math teacher:

The red tape dispenser has been relocated to Frankfort where there is never a shortage.

I had to put it on the library listserv. Even Frankfort loved it!