The day is glorious, but I feel angry

I wish I could just let go of the feeling that I need to be accepted by people and that only the folks who are accepted by others are the folks worth anything. I find that, if I could be comfortable with myself and my lack of social needs and my sometimes odd views of life, I would be happier because I know right now that I'm never going to be accepted like those around me. I'm never going to be cheered on like my brother- and sister-in-law; I'm never going to be emulated like my brother; I'm never going to be respected like my parents are; I'm never going to be seen as the teacher-leader Sharon Valentine or Tony Dietrich or Rhonda Moore or George Christoph are. I'm just going to be me. Few, if any, will ever buy into my idea of faith and church and "religion." Few, if any, will ever count on me for much of anything--expect much from me regardless of my potential because I'm just not aggressive enough or assertive enough or...

Why isn't that OK?

I think part of being a true follower of Christ--letting go of the world, as He puts it--is just that: being yourself. I have a family and a career and, once in a while, things go OK. Sometimes I feel more blessed than some of those around me who gush about their blessings just because I don't feel the desire to be out and about to latch onto the accolades. Sometimes, though, I rant and rave about how unfair life is--like today. Today is a day where I'm asking why people can't see folks as I see them--why they can't see my sister-in-law as "one who is better than"; why they can't see Brian's uncle in the same light; why they can't see beyond their facades and the facades of others like them.

Then I wonder who is really looking at facades.