No wonder I had butterflies in my stomach

I never mentioned it, but I was accompanied by butterflies when we went on our trip to Louisville Tuesday. Brian came home and said he was excited for the first time since we embarked on this journey--like it was getting closer, becoming real. I guess that's exactly what I was thinking the whole time I was telling myself, "I will not hurl; I will not hurl..."

Today Karen told me that most folks she knows are waiting around 5 weeks for approval from USCIS. I'd been told around 2-4 months. I guess that's why I was a little uptight. I most likely don't have even the time to wait that I did when I found out I was pregnant.

It's been a while since I've been in this situation. I'm scared. I'm scared. I still want to do it, but I'm scared.

Had a dream night before last that Brian and I were somewhere. For some reason, he had Emma. I had someone. All I knew was that she was a little Chinese girl and she wasn't Sarah. I never saw her face in my dream. Karen had similar dreams. She actually saw Sarah once before she really saw her. I'd love to have that dream. I want to see her so badly, whoever she is.