I SWEAR it's a book title!

At school, we put announcements for the PA on the system, right next to the intercom. It isn't my fault that the secretary doesn't pre-read them.

And I have one book that a student ordered, but she hasn't picked up said book. I can't remember what student hasn't picked up the book, so what better way to find that one student than to broadcast the need to meet up with said student?

And usually no one listens to the announcements.

So I take this announcement and put it on the PA this afternoon, just like I'm supposed to. And Billie Jo read the announcements, just like she's supposed to.

Well, almost like she's supposed to.

She read, "Will the student who bought the book, The Earth (pause), My Butt (snicker, ahem, outright laugh, silence while she cut the PA), and Other Big (laugh, giggle) Round (giggle) Things (cut PA again, return with nearly uncontrollable laughter) please see Mrs. Reid in the library."

Billie Jo doesn't lose her composure often on the intercom, but she had really lost it this time. She had to cut the intercom a couple more times before she could continue the announcements, and even then it was a chore.

I got on the e-mail. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

In a moment I had a secretary coming across the hall right at me. (My position in the building is NOT good for these situations. I'm too close to the office.)

"Carolyn Reid!"

I scrambled for the book.

"It's real! See! It's real!" I shoved it in her face.

"I thought they'd done it to me again! I thought it was a joke until I realized it was your handwriting! And the whole office was laughing so hard I couldn't keep from laughing! And I'm reading, The Earth (she gives a puzzled look), My Butt, and Other Big Round Things..." (Billie Jo has made several comments about her butt over the years, as well.)

She finally went back to the office to lick her wounds, but it wasn't long until a substitute came in, laughing, and said, "Mrs. Reid, you couldn't have done better if you had made it up! She finished that announcement and one of the kids said to me, 'What did Mrs. Chaplin say about her butt?'"