7:10, no alarm

Curious things about alarm clocks. You have to set them and flip the switch. I forgot Step 2. Talk about a whirlwind dressing session! I had to be out by 7:40.

I was out by 7:35. I guess I did OK. No one pointed or stared.

The worship service was a little more meaningful this morning. I think it was my frame of mind. I went in last week with my defenses up, something that seems to happen when you prepare for the weekly lamblasting somewhere along the line. Today, though, I seemed to be more open.

Good stuff from Larry. He talked about Joseph's blind-siding in the pregnancy scandal. I never really thought about it, but he more than suggested that Joseph probably wasn't too thrilled even after he found out the truth about Mary. Raising God's Son wouldn't be so easy, though, would it? I worry about our daughter having talents and abilities that I can't begin to nurture, as I worried about the boys'. Can you imagine having a son who is perfect--who is God's Son? Where would you begin?

On to Bob.

All I can say is that he's inspired. A few weeks ago Dave C. and I had a discussion about that. Is anyone inspired today? I didn't ask; I asserted that people were. Dave pulled a few Scriptures out of context and said that they aren't, that God speaks to and through no one. Well, I take issue with that, for sure. How a man who was raised in a church, I would suppose, much like the one I was raised in can pull this stuff from the Bible--and for it to ring SO true--in any other fashion...well, it can't happen under his own power.

Clothing and the banishment from the Garden were the themes today. We touched on clothing last week. Today we got into its meaning.

Why clothing?

• Self-awareness--Then it was a realization of who they were--sinners. Today it is a symbol of who were are, too, and in a similar way if you think of it--especially for teens.
• Symbol of God's grace--touched on this last week. He provided the cover; Adam and Eve had nothing to do with it and they didn't ask for it. He gave freely.
• Visible reminder of God's grace.

God desires that their mark of atonement--his acceptance--be visible. The prodigal son was dressed by his father upon his return. The demon-possessed man in Luke was clothed--and accepted--upon his cleansing. Clothing is mentioned in Revelation. Clothing is mentioned in the passage of the wedding of the bridegroom--where he casts all away from the wedding who aren't wearing the clothing he provides. I didn't realize it was mentioned so much in the Bible until this morning. Then he went on to explain how grace is the "clothing" we have from God--that folks should see his clothing on us as we act out in front of them.

Banishment was the next topic. Why were they banished from the Garden? It wasn't because they had been bad. God had already shown them they were forgiven and still loved. It was because they were now aware of good and evil through human eyes--not through God's eyes. They could never understand it that way. And there stands the Tree of Life. If they ate from the Tree of Life again, they were doomed to a life--an eternal, earthly life of guilt and shame. They are unredeemed, so they only know guilt.

So God cast them from the Garden and he sets an angel there to guard THE WAY to the tree of life. The physical way is guarded. The only tree of life that we'll eat from is in Heaven. And the only way we can get to Heaven is through THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE. NO PHYSICAL WAY to the Tree of Life...You can't work your way there...

Wow.

And again I say, "WOW!"

I'd just about given up on the Christian spiritual condition--or maybe I'd just about given up on my own would be more accurate. Then I made it to today.

I'll backtrack a moment.

About 6-7 months ago, roughly, I posted a blog to express heart-break over one of my students. She was 17, smart, athletic...and pregnant. I was concerned for her future. You just don't get pregnant in high school without negative consequences.

I was also concerned for her parents. Her mother, I felt, could take things in stride in spite of the hurt; her dad, though...Tony sees everything in black and white. I didn't know how he would react.

So I started communicating--or rather, God started communicating through me. I certainly can't take credit for the words that apparently came through at the right times--those times when Valerie would e-mail me back to tell me that she'd forwarded what I'd said to Tony or that she was crying for joy. Considering I'm a bit like Moses, I couldn't think it was me, but I couldn't figure out the why me part. Why would God use me that way in something like this?

To make a long story short, Valerie and I have kept in touch to the point that we decided to baby shop Thursday--for both of us. And during the course of the evening, I expressed my concern that I just wasn't getting it. My spiritual life was waning. I was criticizing everything. I wasn't trying to be critical of those in the church; I was being critical of the organization of the church, though. Something just didn't fit in my heart. Was it my pride, I asked her? I answered. Probably. But what I couldn't deal with something much more, whatever it was. I didn't tell her this, but I was about ready to ditch church altogether and work with those whom I see on a daily basis--those who were either as frustrated as I was or those who I felt were at least understanding and not judgmental, as I had found more often than not during my churning.

Of course, being a Christian, she invited me to her church. Of course, wanting to be polite, I accepted.

So the boys and I traipsed into Plum Creek this morning and went through the motions again of worship, even though it was modern and it was heart-felt by others and it was informal and it was...It was a typical church worship service.

And then, of course, I was expected to go to Sunday School. Of course, being polite, I went. When we arrived, Valerie told me that they had been studying the book of Genesis since January and they were on chapter 3.

Oh, goody.

I've been on these marathon, forty-years-in-the-wilderness-of-the-Old Testament Sunday schools before. LAW and MORE LAW. BEATEN and SCOURGED with the Ten Commandments and repeating the laws of the Jews and how we can eat meat now but we can't do much else and...

But I decided to play along and let Valerie do the reading of Exodus that we were supposed to do at our table while I caught up with an old friend whom I haven't seen since I left CCHS.

Then this mountain of a man got up and started teaching about Genesis 3:21-24 and in 5 minutes I realized I was going to run out of space in the margins of my Bible--and I meant the margins in all 1840+ pages. What he was saying was ASTOUNDING!

Where most folks have pointed to the fact that we had shame and we needed to be clothed at the moment we sinned and now we still have shame so...LAW...Bob talked about Man's faith/repentance and God's atonement/security. He talked about the fact that God's plan wasn't derailed at the sin but that sin was PART OF THE PLAN! I understood before that God wasn't surprised by our sin--that he knew it was happening. I'd just never thought of it as outright being part of the plan, though. I always saw the Trinity in Heaven huddling, saying, "OK. We KNOW what's coming but we can ALWAYS HOPE that they won't fall to temptation..." Somehow, I'm more confused by the fact that that wasn't the case, but it does give a whole new outlook on the teachings that we "failed" God, doesn't it? Maybe we don't "fail" him at all in the way folks think we do. (And I'm not trying to be heretical or blasphemous. I've thought for a long time that our failings came from what we don't do rather than what we do.) He talked about the sufficient cover of clothing that only GOD could give and they didn't ask for that. (Wear leaves some time. Oh. EEEEWWWWWW. Then again...) He talked about the fact that Adam didn't doubt God after the sin because he named Eve Eve for the fact that he believed she would become the mother of all living after God had pronounced his death sentence. He talked about Isaac and Abraham and the 3 days' trip to a mountain in the same region as Golgotha (imagination, run) and then the fact that Isaac is resurrected as far as Abraham is concerned and the next time we see Isaac he's looking for his bride and how Noah lined the ark with pitch and "pitch" in Hebrew is the same word for "atonement" which essentially means "keeps the flood of judgment out" and...

All-in-all, he took an OT Scripture, took out the condemnation that I am so used to hearing and instead pulled out the evidence of grace.

It's so easy to see when it's pointed out! There is so much hope in such a dark, dark point in history! Why has all of that NEVER been pointed out in my hearing in the 41 years I have been in church?

Suddenly all the doubts that I've had--the doubts of the truth of the Scriptures, the doubts about the purposes/teachings of the church, etc.--may be taking a turn. The "unity" of the Scriptures that everyone talks about but no one truly teaches (to my knowlege--until today) is becoming clearer.

I've never gone to a church because of its Sunday school before. I guess that may change, too.

Now I just have to get a LARGE notebook.

Yet another new experience

Met Ting Lu tonight. She is our jie jie (big sister) from China. We are already in love with her. She is sweet, intelligent, and caring. We are glad to have her as "part of the family."

We met at the "Night of China" at UC. Everything was even introduced in Chinese. I felt really foolish sitting there as though I understood what the M.C.s were saying when I didn't have a CLUE. But the music was great and the food was...different. I'm not prepared to say "great." After a few days, it might work for me, but I ate it and it was a neat experience none-the-less.

The highlight was the folkdance presentation by the adoptees from China. They brought down the house. I got really emotional when the m.c. talked about how special they are. She has no idea about the truth behind that comment. Seeing all those smiling faces and hearing the girls giggles as they counted the 108 stairs to the top floor of Tangeman Hall made me imagine even more.

Leaks of many-a-kind

Came home to a leaking roof over the sunroom. If emoticons were available, I'd be angry, rolling my eyes, and crying all at the same time. Poor Brian just got home after a three-day stint and he can't get a break.

Brett leaked some info that prompted a phone call to a friend who has a son who is a little older than Brett. They've been through almost all of it together, so it was especially hard for him to tell me even what he didn't tell me. Now we may have to make him tell us the rest of the story. He won't be happy.

And John leaked hot air over the intercom this morning. "Now we'll really enforce the dress code...really...I mean it...yeah..." Whatever.

And I leaked steam.

Brown envelope

Received it last week. Shows you where I've been. Thought I blogged it already. It came last Thursday. That means that we're officially known in China!

My brother is going to have a canary

And for any one of three main reasons:

1. Election Day doesn't come soon enough.
2. The Dems win.
3. His TV reception goes out and he can't watch the results.

Please understand: this could be a LONG four years for the family if Bush doesn't win tomorrow.