I don't know when I've felt like this

I can't describe it. I don't want to talk about it. I will say that, in the ten years I've taught, I have NEVER felt like I do right now. I've been discouraged about my job, but I've never felt like a rat in a corner. I do right now. I've never come home from school in tears as far as I can remember until last night. I can handle a lot of stuff, but I can't handle--I can't BELIEVE what went on yesterday afternoon. I was hurt, humiliated, confused, afraid...

And how was I supposed to feel? My insurance contribution is supposed to go up somewhere in the neighborhood of 65%. I can't just sit there and take it, but I have never felt right about walk-outs or strikes. And then I'm asked--on the spot--"what will you do Monday?"????

And I see divisions beginning amongst the staff, even in unity. Everyone was respectful yesterday, but it's not going to be long before it gets ugly, I'm afraid, in some circles.

We have no discipline in the school, we have no respect from the community, and now we are losing respect amongst the working masses--all because we have no leadership...no one to "rally around"...no glue to hold us together.

I've gotta go or I'm going to be late for school.