Gaffs and Goofs

Frustrations and hilarity at the Creek:

1. Computer/projector (OK...COMPUTER) snuffed itself for the second week in a row. I wonder if it's a cable issue.
2. Sound worked OK, then it didn't, then it REALLY did for a few seconds.
3. Larry's sermon was on on teaching respect to our children. He tried to quote Titus 2:2, which says, "Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance." What he said at first was, "Teach the older men to be desperate..." Where it came from, I'll never know. He said it was Freudian, so it really makes me wonder...

Run-down of the week

Unreal.

1. Our school was rejected--not once--TWICE, by different principal candidates. This fact made our vice-chair proclaim, "OMG! WE'RE WORKING IN A HELL-HOLE AND WE'RE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT!"
2. A dear friend asked me if I would be interested in a couple 36D bras. (No comment here.) She'd realized too late that they were the wrong size for her.
3. Our math department head told our principal that she wouldn't sacrifice a good teacher for a football coach. When he became indignant ("I would never put a coach before a teacher!"), she asked him how it came to be that we created a social studies position in order to get a football coach a few years ago.
4. A kid came into the library (right around the time we found out about our second rejection) to tell me (and I quote), "Mrs. Reid, your son knocked up a girl in biology class the other day." Thank God I knew what he meant. The students are studying genetics and each one had a male or a female dragon. Brennan had a female; a girl had a male. When quiet Brennan raised his hand to indicate he had no "spouse," the girl told her she'd mate with him. He turned a beautiful shade of maroon. Then the trouble really started.

I know there is probably more, but let's just stop for now and leave the others for some other time--like for when I feel like laughing because we have a good person at the helm.

"Interesting Vacation"

Duke Hamilton of B-105 got more than he bargained for today when he put out a request for listeners' "Most Interesting Vacation" stories.

Paraphrase of one listener's story:

"My wife and I went to Cancun with some friends of ours. My wife and my friend's wife wanted to go shopping. Well...we didn't want to do that, so we decided to go to the bar. Uh...we kind of lost track of time while we were there and we forgot to pick them up, so we went on when we realized it, but when we got to the place where we were meeting, they weren't there. Turns out they were in jail. They'd been picked up as prostitutes because they'd stood on the street corner too long.

"Now prostitution is legal there, but you have to have a license. When we went to pay the fine to get our wives out of jail, we found out that it was cheaper to pay for a prostitution license than it was to pay the fine...so we bought the license and got them out..."

Duke lives just across the way. I wonder if he'd quit laughing by the time he'd driven his 30+ miles home.