RE: "My friend Ted wrote this"

I'm still having problems with the "speck in Islam's eye." People are touting Islam as being the same as Christianity, just "a little misguided", but it's not. It doesn't recognize Jesus as the Only One and the Only Way. I know we need to love these people--don't get me wrong--but I don't want to fall sucker for their beliefs or for any supposed similarities between theirs and ours.

And it annoys me to know that our social studies department is teaching about the two religions as though they are similar.

On a good note, I think I know what I'm teaching Friday night, and part of it is from Ted! (And what I'm teaching has nothing to do with what I've just written.)

One of the most feared teachers of our time

Several of us spent part of the morning remembering Mrs. Pribble, our freshman English teacher. No other teacher that I know can spark such fear and such admiration at the same time. She was a gem--one of those people who could make you hold your breath for an entire hour while still getting through your awe to teach you things you never forget.

She also had a keen sense of humor, although we rarely saw it. Debra related this story today. Makes me wish I had been a few years older.

One of the most handsome boys in the school happened to live next door to me. I had the BIGGEST crush on him, partly because of my imagination and partly because my parents teased me about him. What I didn't realize, though, is that he was that he was a "golf ball in a bunch of tall grass"--at least during those days.

And he had the misfortune of having Mrs. Pribble--the stickler for proper English and the KNOWLEDGE of its structure. One day, he had to read a sentence and name each part (noun, adverb, etc.). The sentence was, "The dog is under the house." His job was to say, "Dog--noun; is--linking verb..." etc.

Once he'd finished this, she asked, "Richard, what is 'under the house.'" She expected to hear, "A prepositional phrase."

Richard said, "The dog."

Apparently she was laughing too hard to teach for quite a few moments.

If it weren't for school

I hate testing.

I got into the test session this morning, and the first thing I did was hand out
the wrong answer sheets. We got that fixed, then I was two short. Then I
passed out the testing booklets and I was one off there. Two trips to the
office in 5 minutes. When I returned with the booklets, two of the kids
turned up with extra answer sheets. That explained the first shortage.
This was all after 4 trips between the library and the cafeteria to get all
the stuff I thought I had together in the first place.

Near the middle of the second test, Bart called. I couldn't answer. Then,
as we were taking things up at the end, BRIAN called and, after Bart's call,
I got worried, but I answered with, "Can I call you back in a moment?" I
knew everything was OK when he said OK. THEN the credit union called as I
was getting ready to escort kids to the rr. (Remember the days that we
didn't have to worry about these things because we didn't have cell phones?)

Now testing is over for the day and now l can't find my administrator's
booklet. ANYWHERE!

In the midst of all this, our bookkeeper comes to me and says, "I can't figure this out..." That's ALWAYS a sign that this is going to be a LONG discussion. Sure enough, I spent the next eternity trying to explain to her why we had to send ALL that we made off the book fair--$1402.66 (speaking of eternity, it will FOREVER be ingrained in my mind)--and why we didn't get to keep the $800+ we received in book profit. (Never mind I explained to her two weeks that we would be doing this just so that we could hopefully avoid this conversation. She wanted to send them 40% of the take.) After several restatements, I finally had an epiphany and said, "They gave us $850 in books because we sold $1402.66
worth of merchandise," and I equated it to the kids receiving prizes when
they sell for fund-raisers. Then it took.

After the session was over, I found out that my test booklet was missing. It still IS missing. I don't have a clue.

I think I'll stay in bed tomorrow.

So what does this make me?

"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

I'm sitting in church this morning pondering Ted's remarks and I'm watching all this staged stuff (Communion was the worst, I hate to say) and I'm thinking, "This is ridiculous. How in the world do you justify something so phoney and so bad and so..."

Then this verse popped into my head.

Now I'm not one to go around saying, "God spoke to me and said..." I'm not one to go hopping through the aisles yelling and celebrating my "spiritual experiences." I usually just kind of flounder around through life, hitching onto something that I think will be a good thing to latch onto--whether it be VBS, CIY, or some other set of initials that are Christian--and I go for it and hope that I'm doing something about God, for God, or whatever. (I guess my "Purpose Driven Life" is more like "Purpose Driven Hoping.")

But as I said, this verse popped into my head and all I could think is, "Maybe this WORKS for some folks. Maybe CHURCH as it is is what some people need to understand God more." Not that it's ever hurt me, really--except for a couple of incidents that really set us whirling, and that wasn't church itself but a couple of people in the church--but I get into my intellectual kicks and I end up thinking things are so stupid.

Boy am I rambling.

Point is: what if, in my desire to derail the church as it is, I'm missing the point just as much as I feel traditionalists are? And what if they're not missing the point as badly as I think they are, or as I am? After all, Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and Jesus is the one who has made us individuals. OK, I see us missing a lot with our traditional values and I see myself needing something different than we have in the traditional sense, but just because I see that doesn't mean that others don't gain from tradition. I see T & SJ, two of our favorite people in the world--two folks who have time and again encouraged us, regardless. Not only does the traditional church appeal to them, but, if it hadn't been there, they probably would have gone from church and from Jesus altogether. I see others there who are the same. Some people may see that as a weakness, but we all have weaknesses and I'm not sure my wanting the church to change so much isn't mine; I mean, after all, what am I focusing on if I want that?

It certainly isn't, "I am the way, the truth and the life..."

Our little girl

No, not that one. Our new niece! Emma is the very first one on the page and she is this month's cover girl, as well!

Meant to ask Karen last night if I could find Sarah anywhere. I forgot. I also forgot to ask which province she is from. She has to be somewhere!

Hmmmm. Just checked again. Maybe not.

Is that a whine I hear? Part II

Rich is closing in, but he still has some way to go. See April 24, 2004.

Not much to say

What others are saying, though, is worth looking at.

Ben's blog has a lot to say and I'm not sure he said much of it this time. That's unusual. See "My Friend Ted Wrote This" for 4/23/04. Good stuff. I get so tired of china-doll Christianity. My life isn't like that. I don't know that anyone who is really alive has that type, either.

Got the first bit of home study paperwork off this morning. Nearly ready to send off the first of the dossier. Just need to make copies. Brian is spazzing over his part of the paperwork and he had the nerve to whine this afternoon that I wasn't doing it for him like Karen did Patrick. What can I say? Karen is nicer than I am. Deal with it.

Lost sleep over the adoption process for the first time this past week--and it happened two or three nights in a row. Woke up worried about money and afraid in general. Fees are starting to take full force and the idea of traveling is starting to take hold, not to mention the idea of starting over again. I have to keep reminding myself not to let fear make my decision. For that matter, I'm not doubting we're doing the right thing. I'm just terrified of what we're doing!

Does that make any sense at all?

Michael brought his new girlfriend in yesterday. I like her. She's quiet and sweet and level-headed. He'd better hold onto her. His first time around got him two great kids but not much else except trouble. I hope he's smarter at 30 than he was at 20!

No Lemonade Stand since Thursday when I had pink-eye. Didn't even think about it until late this morning. I must be withdrawing successfully--at least until Rich breaks my record.

Job hazards abound

Got pink-eye from a kid at school and missed today. Considering the attendance policy, I should get a freebie. She came just because they pretty much MAKE kids come sick. I sent her home, but not before she had touched everything--and after I'd told her not to, at that!

The parents of my student who is pregnant are dealing much better than they did before. They were worried about tongues wagging--and they have been--and they seem to be worried about how they are perceived as parents. Of course they were worried about their daughter. They're receiving concern from all over the place, so that has helped so much. If we could only be so graceful in all situations.

Brett's girlfriend comes over for supper and a movie tomorrow night. Brett doesn't know what is in store.

How do you do an evil grin again? Oh, yeah. )=)

Losing sleep over this adoption thing--something I told myself I wouldn't do because I was going to trust in this. I'm trusting, but $16,000 seems like an awfully lot of $$ when your husband isn't working every day.

$183.33

Isn't this pathetic? I'm a 40-year-old woman with three kids and a husband and I sit here playing Lemonade Stand while I'm cooking supper.

Pathetic or not, I rule! $183.33! Poor Bro is still trying to figure it out. I can't figure it out, either, but I know what I'm doing for a China fundraiser! =)

Taught today. Passed my eval. (Big surprise.) Pushing for more folks who will let me play. If I could play more, I'd be much happier in my job.

Called CAWLI today. Still feel weird about yesterday's home study. I have no idea why I feel like such a total idiot because of that one comment. I don't believe I'm wrong here, do I?

Regardless...

Profit

$102 plus change. Not a record, but not shabby.

Paperwork works well with Lemonade Stand.

Amazing stuff today

1. I saw our bookkeeper and she didn't ask me to do the book fair receipts again.
2. On a more serious note, the thing that socked the wind out of me yesterday went much better than I expected it to today. MUCH better.
3. I've raised 3 kids and today I hear that I've done it all wrong because I believe in spanking; however, when we adopt, I'm supposed to ensure the kid doesn't take over the house WITHOUT spanking her if all else fails? Maybe I'm just inept.

Had a bunch to say

Guess I'll think of it later when it's important again. Right now I'm dealing with news that nearly socked the wind right out of me. Nothing life-threatening or goal-changing for me, in some ways, but still a blow.

Is that a whine I hear?

Poor little bro. Did you see that comment about 40-year-olds being pathetic for playing Lemonade Stand? Like it's so mature for a 24-year-old to play it.

Some people just can't take the heat.

And what is this "when after" stuff I see on said post?

=)

Love ya, Rich!

It ain't over yet, but I think I'm safe

Scored portfolios today. A few screamers, but mostly a dead group.

Brett took Kelsey to Mom and Dad's and they LOVE her. (Big surprise. NOT.)

Went to bed at about midnight last night. I'm probably going to drop soon in spite of the easier day.

Got mad today

Nothing says "your job is worthless and you don't do anything around here" more than a principal who asks you to cover a class--and in the teacher's room, at that. I was up to my eyeballs in work that I had to do, but he asked me to do that. Again.

Just another sign that folks in P County are clueless about my job.

Weekly entertainment, Carolyn-style

Please understand that my computer is in close proximity to my phone.

This morning was crazy anyway, and the last thing I wanted to do, but the first thing I needed to do during second block, was locate an MIA student. To make a long story short, I ran the building, reported him to the office, they called him, we found him, and I had to contact his regular teacher to let her know we had. I went back into the library--all frazzled because of the student and because of money concerns and because of a home study time snafu and...--and tried to call his teacher. I emphasize "tried" because, once I picked up the phone and started to dial, I could get no dialer tones. I pushed the "1" and no beep greeted me. I pushed it again. Nothing. Again and again I pushed it, but nothing happened.

I decided I'd lost my connection, so I hung up the phone, picked it up, and tried again. And again. And again. For about 20 seconds I tried this. It took that long for me to look down and figure out that I was trying to dial the phone with my computer keyboard number pad. Once I had the right number pad, I made the call with no difficulties whatsoever--unless you count trying to keep composure worthy of a concerned teacher while you're nearly ready to burst at your own stupidity.

Another thing:

I drive my car until the gas gauge is past empty. OK, not really. I just let it touch empty sometimes before I get gas--especially when it is rainy and cold like it has been this week and I know that better weather is coming. So this afternoon my husband has to move my car up under the carport. Brett sees him get into the car and says, "Dad is going to pee his pants when he sees your gas tank is so low. He's going to say, 'Do you know your gas is almost gone?'" In a couple moments, Brian walked in the door and said, "Do you know your gas--?" I don't know the rest because Brett and I were laughing so hard I couldn't hear him except when he said, "Yeah, it's funny now, but..."

My ribs hurt tonight.

Reasons I am a librarian and miscellaneous drivel (am I spelling that correctly?)

1. I am a reader; I am not a bookkeeper.
2. I am a reader; I am not a bookkeeper.
3. I am a reader; I am not a bookkeeper.

Obviously, someone expects me to be a bookkeeper. I CAN'T MAKE MY BOOK FAIR RECEIPTS MATCH MY DEPOSITS! I have 10 extra bucks! Can't we call it a donation and forget it? Geez Louise!

Brett brought home new shoes tonight. Goober only sniffed. In the meantime, I found one of my new Keds sneakers in his favorite spot. Miracles do occur! The shoe was in one piece!

I am a librarian; I am not a housekeeper...

That was no dream...

I was a new mother of quadruplets who were bi-racial and who were, judging from size, about 8 months old. I had no memory of conceiving them nor did I have any memory of having them (you'd think I'd remember at least one of those events), but I was SOOO very proud of them.

And one more thing

Dad is into this adoption thing. He was asking questions today. I think he likes this idea after all.

TV time?

Mom, Dad, and I spent much of this afternoon watching our neighbors' little girls play golf with their parents and their grandpa. We didn't join in; we just watched through the window. Kind of like watching TV, but the show is a lot more fun when you know the people.

Got pictures of Sarah and Emma this morning. Now we fight over who gets what pictures for our wallets. I need to get two frames for their individual pictures. I looked at their pictures and suddenly I couldn't wait all over again--like I've had any doubts in the first place.

Yes. I'm feeling better, thank you. Better enough to eat Easter dinner AND to get into my Easter basket a little. (I'm 40 and my mom fixed Brian and me an Easter basket and I think that is SOOOOOO cool!)

Easter Sunday

I've missed Easter services only twice in my life and today is one of those days. I'm glad the virus didn't pop up last week, but why did it have to at 11:45 last night? I'm not sick now; just tired and blah. Hope that I can get some sleep and feel human tomorrow. I hate this stuff.

I was thinking last night: what would life have been like if Jesus hadn't died? Today we're free to laugh and have fun and celebrate on a moment-by-moment basis because, in the end, it's all going to be OK in spite of the ugliness that surrounds us--ugliness surrounded by beauty, just like Jesus's death. Anyway, I've been thinking that laughter and jokes would be pretty morbid. All good (even love???) would be morbid because, in the end, you'd be going to Hell, so good would just be a slap in the face considering--like a mockery of your future condition. (Hmmm. Doesn't that seem odd? Isn't it weird that, even in a world as messed up as the one we live in, evil is still the morbid side?)

On the one hand, I applaud the woman who ran the streets of Puritan (I think) times with her bucket of water and her torch so that she could dowse the fires of Hell and burn the gates of Heaven so that people wouldn't serve to avoid punishment or to be rewarded, but on the other hand, like a popular e-mail implies, she missed looking forward to the dessert!

So I have this hope: to the ones who have been missing from this world (and who left holes in my heart) for some time now, I hope that you're enjoying the last and eternal course even more than you did the meal. And I hope I see you again some day--not exactly soon, but some day. =)

And Sarah Ann, I can't believe we said our last good-bye six years ago today. I still cry for you sometimes. Sixteen years wasn't nearly long enough to have such a friend. What they say about mothers-in-law sure didn't apply to you.

And Jesus, thank you for the hope!

If you give a dog a shoe

Goober, we have found, is a shoe connoisseur. We gave him one old shoe, but now he's discovered that new shoes are much better--and that Rockports are better than Wal-Mart's Fanfares, regardless of age. Because I have two bad habits--kicking off my shoes at the computer and leaving the closet door open when I get dressed in the morning--he has been allowed to play Colombus and make such discoveries,much as I am allowed to make discoveries about Starbuck's scones and pound cake. Unfortunately, though, I am the one who pays for both explorations.

Last night I came in with three new pairs of shoes. I tried them on in his presence a little while ago. He licked the sole of one pair as I straightened it on my foot. Taste-testing.

Brother blogs!

Rich has a blog!

Was it really a week?

Took off for Gatlinburg last Thursday with my mom and dad and brother and aunt and uncle and hubby and boys. Ten in a rental van could get long (try sitting on the edge of the seat during your whole time in the van) but it was great. Rich and I got the great idea to give the elders (I didn't say "elderly") to the mountains for their Christmas present. They've been planning--and I think cooking--ever since. The trip through the mountains (the loves of my life) and to Gatlinburg proper (a place that I don't really relish) was wonderful. Mom and Dad got to count about 150 deer (we think) in the early-morning Cades Cove and my aunt and uncle got to go to the aquarium while Brian and I tagged along. Ten of us in a cabin was even more fun than ten of us in a van. We got to sit and talk and just be through the evenings for the weekend. We've never gotten to do that. Ever. The only thing I missed was my uncle and my grandparents--and my uncle moreso since he's the only one of the three who most likely could have made it. He should have turned 77, I guess, or maybe 78, last month. The weekend was so wonderful that Mom cried when we got back home and I think my stoic aunt and uncle did, too. Dad probably did, too, but I'll never know.

So off to plan for next time. My aunt would go to China in a heartbeat, but the rest of the folks...

This whole adoption thing is going well considering we're having some problems with the adoption agency. Funny how, when you tell someone who wants your business (read "money") that you're going with another agency because they won't work with your social worker, they become more than efficient and ultra-cooperative. I wanted greed to stay out of this--much like I wanted it to stay out of the births of our 3 biological sons--but alas. Money makes the world go 'round and the adoption agencies communicate, apparently.

Brett has a girlfriend, speaking of sons. I picked her out the first time I saw her, so you know this is dead in the water before it even begins. She is a doll--pretty and sweet and...

And Bart is my poor, stupid baby for not going out with Michelle C., but that's another story.